Janice Hunter's Sharing the Journey — soul food and support for coaches, writers and homemakers

9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinators – and the Scent of Spring…

by janice on February 19, 2010

freesias Spring is definitely stirring. Woven through the frosted days and chilling winds, we’ve had days of weak, wintry warmth and seen sneaky wee snowdrops peeking through the loam, smiling shyly beneath the bare trees and bushes. The tiny green shoots of brave, determined daffodils have pushed through to greet the first warm rays of spring, and it feels like time to do the same and welcome the season into my home.

Freshly painted in soothing shades of jasmine white and linen, sea shells and sandy beaches, with painted wood cladding on the walls and a rustic wooden floor, my living room and hallway now form the perfect canvas for me to express myself year round.

During the winter months, shades of cranberry, rusty-red and Christmas green added warmth. I didn’t have the energy to be very creative, but that was OK. My Christmas decorations have a life of their own and all we had to do was to bring them down from the attic and they brought the cheery warmth and spirit of the season with them.

I bring in the spring by filling every container I can – teapots, jugs, teacups, treasured old mugs and vases – with bulbs and spring fowers. I echo the yellows, cornflower blues and sage greens in my wall hangings and ornaments, cushion covers and garlands. It’s an easy fix, but one that lifts the spirit.

coffee table spring flowers I’m especially fond of hyacinths and freesias. I have hyacinths in the kitchen and freesias in a jug on the living room coffee table at the moment; the fragrance fills the house. I love the structural elegance of freesias, the way their stems arch and the buds along the stem open in sequence, guaranteeing perfume and flowers for days to come.

I’m enjoying being uplifted by the scents and sights of spring, the birds suddenly louder at dusk and the promise of longer, warmer days and brighter spirits.

I’ve been writing again, suspending some commitments until I can go back to delivering quality, and rooting around in my files and archives, ready for a shake-up and a spring clean. I’m clearer than I have been in months about what I have to offer and how I want to connect. Most reassuring is that I’ve gone back to reading with a pen and quotebooks; after weeks of wondering when the tide would would turn, I feel a sea change coming.

If you’re inspired by spring to make changes but find it all a bit overwhelming and don’t know where to start, do what nature does. Grow and blossom a tiny wee bit every day. Fill a jug with spring flowers today, breathe in inspiration and share your gifts with us on an outbreath of joy.

I enjoyed this article in Christine Kane’s newsletter recently and thought you might find it useful.

9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinators
by Christine Kane

Irony: As I started to write this article, I thought, “I’ll just go play one Sudoku game first.” I caught myself in the act and marched to my laptop.

People who say that procrastination is about laziness are probably the same people who think that anorexia is about not eating enough.

Procrastination isn’t about laziness. It’s about fear. It’s about perfectionism. It’s about overwhelm. We all experience it, and there are some tricks to help you get moving again.

Here are 9 ways to break the procrastination habit:

1 – When you get an idea, do some little thing to begin.

When I read Stephen King’s book On Writing, I noticed something. I noticed that when Stephen King gets an idea, he writes it. Immediately and imperfectly.

Most people get an idea. Then they sit there. They wonder if it’s a good idea. Then, they wonder if it’s a good idea some more.

Got an idea? Begin it now!

2 – All hail small chunks of time!

Lots of us complain about having no time. My guess is that we all have lots of time. It just doesn’t happen to be all at once.

Are you waiting for many hours of spare time to begin your idea, your project, or your taxes? Stop waiting! Learn to use the spare half hour that comes up here and there. (I gave myself 45 minutes to write this article just to take my own advice.)

3 – Agree to do it badly.

Set a goal to do it badly. Set a goal to show up. Let go of doing it ALL, or doing it WELL.

Some of my coaching clients’ biggest victories have a lot more to do with getting over perfectionism and fear, than they do about getting it all done perfectly.

4 – Commit aloud.

Call a friend and say something like this: “I’m going to spend the next half hour working on my Law School Essay.” Then go do it.

Call the friend after the half hour and make her congratulate you. Repeat daily.

5 – Define quantities.

Nebulous goals make for nebulous results. “I’m gonna get my office organized” is a lot like saying, “We oughtta do something about Global Warming.”

Most procrastinators have a hard time defining quantities. We think everything needs to be done NOW.

When are you going to do it? For how long? Which part of your office? The file cabinet? Or your desk?

Define the goal and acknowledge its completion.

6 – Install this System Upgrade into your Mental Hard Drive: Less is More.

Have fewer goals. Have no more than three priorities for a week.

Why?

Because you’re not lazy. You’re just trying to do too much.

Find out what it feels like to accomplish one thing instead of not quite getting to everything. Wow – what a difference this makes!

7 – Do it first.

My first coach made me write songs first thing in the morning. He told me to schedule the 2-hour chunk as my first activity upon waking.

Why?

“Because you’re telling the universe that this is your priority. And then the universe lines up everything to align with your priority.”

Action grounds your priorities. It makes them real. It also makes your day easier because you’re not wasting energy thinking about this thing you’re supposed to be doing.

8 – Avoid nose-bleed activities.

Email, voicemail, web stats – any activity that bleeds itself into your whole day becomes a non-activity. It becomes a nose-bleed.

When you do it all the time, you never complete it. You just let it slowly drain the very life force from you. Define times for these activities. Then, turn off your email, your cell phone, your web stats, until that time comes.

9 – Don’t ask how you “feel” about doing the activity.

Have you ever committed to getting fit? And then when the alarm goes off, you lie in bed thinking, “Do I really feel like going to the gym?” (Like you even have to ask!)

Change this pattern. Make your decision the night before. Commit to getting up and going right to the gym, the computer, the blank canvas. Don’t have coffee and sigh and think, “I’ll probably feel more like it at lunch time.” You won’t!

If it’s a priority, don’t waste time asking yourself how you feel about doing it. Feelings are an easy out.

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There. I did it. I wrote this article. And now, I don’t even want to play Sudoku! How about that?

Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

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What’s the weather like where you are? Do you have any projects stirring, waiting to blossom in the next few weeks? Is procrastination a problem for you? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. After years of battling perfectionism, and the overwhelm that often accompanies prolific wide-ranging creativity, I specialise in coaching creative folk who thrive when they take things one wee step at a time.

Any comments...?

Caldo Verde

by janice on February 4, 2010

caldo verde

Don’t rush through the process but enjoy the mindfulness, or the Zen, of cooking. Isn’t the fragrance of homemade soup wonderful? It makes you glad to be alive or at least at your own house for dinner. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Remember I once told you I had a private ‘practice’ blog a year before I launched Sharing the Journey? Well here’s a wee post I did back in the autumn of 2008. I’ve guessed from the response to my last post that I’m not the only one who has an almost spiritual reverence for making a pot of stew or soup.

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Vegetarian caldo verde

It’s very cold today. Passers-by look drawn, pinched and tight faced, huddling into the winter clothes they’ve been avoiding for as long as possible. Although it’s a bright blue day, people don’t seem to be sharing my delight at the autumn colours or the drifts of leaves. The cold is all pervasive, slicing its way through clothes and into the conversations I’ve overheard.

Here’s one of the soups I serve my family on days like this. It’s very loosely based on a soup I loved when I lived in Portugal, caldo verde (green soup.) We’re not vegetarian, and the original soup has slices of spicy sausage, pepperoni or chorizo in it, but the kids don’t notice if I don’t add meat because I substitute the spices and flavours used to give European sausage its distinctive smoky tang.

caldo verde ingredients To a large soup pan I add water, some sea salt, 200g of shredded curly kale, 1kg of small, scrubbed but unpeeled new potatoes chopped into chunks, a glug or two of extra virgin olive oil, two cloves of garlic and two or three teaspoonfuls of smoked paprika. I boil it all until the potatoes are cooked, whazz everything together with a hand blender and serve in earthenware handpainted bowls with homebaked seeded bread.

Smoky, heavenly soup with a high smugness quotient! Mmmm…

(If you’re not vegetarian, you can throw in 100g of thinly sliced chorizo before you boil everything, saving a few slices as a garnish.)

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I have lots of favourite recipes from my years abroad; please let me know if you’d like me to share some more of them here.

Any comments...?

A Patchwork Post: Soup, Song and Hyacinths

by janice on February 1, 2010

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
~ T.S.Eliot, from Little Gidding

As you know, I’ve been having a break from public writing while I attempt to get some balance back into my life. I only write well if inspiration overflows from a life filled to the brim with presence, insight, love and creativity and I discovered last year that too much time spent reading and writing online detaches me from the real world, the source of all my soul-fuel.

The blogging world is an inspiring, stimulating place, full of friendships and opportunities, but blogweariness can drain the life-blood from my writing if I let it. These last few months, I’ve been refilling the well and getting the balance back.

My husband and I have been making slow but steady progress clearing out and renovating our house. I clear cupboards and drawers and fill bags with stuff most days, and the house is feeling more spacious and serene as a result. We were given a few boxed sets of DVD’s at Christmas – 24, Supernatural and Cranford - and after long, productive days, we’ve been enjoying cosy winter nights by the fire enjoying them.

My kids’ school days are going more smoothly and we’re back to having home-made, nutritious snacks, meals and soup every day. There was a time, right in the middle of my most OCD blogging phase, that the freezer saw more use than ever before, but there’s nothing quite like making soup – washing, peeling, paring and chopping a rainbow of colours and textures – to make you feel healthy and grounded.

music for healing2 I’m also in the middle of putting five decades worth of music onto my MP4 player, and that’s involved converting cassettes to MP3 and hardest of all, classifying and editing them. Music’s always been a important part of my life, and it usually means there’s a mini bout of depression on the horizon if I stop singing and listening to music. There’s a deeply rooted connection, too, between my writing voice and my love of music. When one fades, the other often joins it.

I wanted to write you a piece about music, but couldn’t manage it. But that’s OK; it heartens me that I wanted to and tried. Everything will fall back into place when I’m ready and my writing voice is refreshed and rested.

In the meantime, here’s an extract from a piece I wrote a few years ago, about how I got my writing voice back when I discovered coaching. I re-read it today, and it reassured me that we spend our whole lives spiralling upwards. We may feel we’re stuck in a loop, back where we started, but we’re really always evolving; if we can see the patterns for what they are, we can rise above them.

extract from The Sound of Music

I love hearing silence used beautifully. The perfect pause that reaches out like ripples around a pebble in a dark pool. A poem where the unspoken word can say more than the most carefully crafted chapter. The silence between the notes that makes the music.

I went to a Scottish folk concert last night and sat in awe as the fiddles and pipes had a spirited conversation, the flute became a voice, the guitar wrapped itself around them all and the drumbeat turned into a heartbeat, a handclapping, footstomping hall full of joy and applause. As I sat listening to the band, watching the stage lights pick out their foot tapping, swaying forms in beams of changing coloured light on the dark stage, I remembered how I used to feel performing my own songs in the heat of the lights, savouring the silence between the fading of the last note and the start of the clapping.

I sang my way around Europe when I worked as a language teacher and translator; my voice was a vital part of who I was and what I did. After I had my kids, I moved back to Scotland and slowly, imperceptibly, I stopped writing, stopped singing, stopped playing the guitar and even stopped speaking the foreign languages I was fluent in. Silence gently settled around my soul like snow.

When I drifted into life coaching, on my journey out of what I now realise was low grade chronic depression, my passion to tell the whole world about it bubbled up, spilled over and finally gushed out in the torrent that helped me rediscover my voice.

I’ll be able to write again in the next few months; I’m sure of it. Inspiration is always there, like hyacinths blanketed beneath the snow, biding their time, waiting to wake, blossom and fill the air with their fragrance. Until then, I wish you all good things and look forward to connecting with you again someday soon.

Any comments...?

Merry Christmas!

by janice on December 24, 2009

Thank you for all the joy you’ve brought this year by reading, subscribing or commenting. Until I log back on, I’d like to leave you with a coach’s thoughts on The Christmas Story. I wrote it a few years ago when I was helping coaches develop the skills they’d need on their journey towards coach certification.

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A Coaching Hallelujah ~

These past few days, I’ve been looking back over what I’ve done with my home life, my coaching and my writing since I started working online, taking stock of the year’s unexpected joys and challenges as well as the dreams I’ve had to let go of. You may not be a Christian or even celebrate at this time of the year, but please bear with me, stay open and join me in a coach’s exploration of a well known story.

Thinking about my abandoned goals usually leads to me moodling about George Bailey from the film ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’; this time I found myself wondering about Joseph. Were his dreams of a simple family life turned upside down when he heard the momentous news about Jesus? How quick was he to recognise the perfection in the situation or was he simply stunned for a while, following his own instincts as well as trusting the guidance given to him by a greater power? What we do know is that he was supportive and loving and that he didn’t give up and walk away when things got tough and scary. But in this story, it isn’t just Joseph who embodies the qualities that we can use to strengthen our work and enrich our lives.

Imagine in the dark, frosty crispness of night, a bright band of angels bursting into glorious song, the most perfect example of matching the radiance, joy and vibrational energy of the occasion. And what a triumph of clear communication and channelling too! In any choir – even the angelic kind – it takes all kinds of unique voices and a love of synergy, resonance and harmony to create the kind of soul music that fills you from your heart to your toes with amazing Aha!’s.

Imagine too the humanity of the shepherds, their hearts and minds filled with a tumult of human thoughts and emotions as they grapple with shock, overwhelming panic, awe and hope in the face of an astonishing new reality. Then there’s the little shepherd boy, bringing his gift of childlike innocence, wonder and curiosity to the tableau in the stable.

And while the shepherds remind us to love the simple dignity of our humanity, it pleases me to think of the hardworking ox and ass instinctively providing warmth with their bodies and their breath, standing there powerful yet still in the silence, breathing, looking on, listening, understanding…

I also like to think of the innkeeper (and his wife?) contributing practical solutions and resources – shelter, blankets, food, a jug of fresh water and directions to the well – all of this while bustling around, tending to an innful of guests, reminding us that people still need to have their basic needs met, no matter what life changing events are taking place.

And imagine, silhouetted against the starry night sky, gliding along on camels, the three mysterious magi, following a shared dream, a vision, never stopping till they reach their destination and deliver their gifts. Gifts which remind us that value is subjective and that our skills and senses are to be cherished: gleaming gold, bringing with it the power to do great good if it’s used wisely and with compassion; frankincense, its heady, smoky fragrance evoking the power of holy places, prayer and contemplation; myrrh, the balm that reminds us to treat our bodies with love and respect and to tune in and enjoy and them while we can. The three kings also bring the gifts of magic and mystery, wisdom and knowledge, intuition and synchronicity. They travelled together, sharing support, solidarity and resources on their long journey towards the unknown, reminding us that if we remain open, alert and responsive, we have a lot to learn from the wisdom and experience of others, from people of all cultures and faiths.

But behind this rich tapestry and the birth of one special child, let’s not forget the tragedy that arose from Herod’s terrible personal agenda born of power and fear, his quickness to judge and his conviction that he was right. We all have the power to hurt or help each other, to react or respond, to forgive or let ourselves be consumed by fear, pain, bitterness, anger and overwhelm; but we also have the power and skills to ask the right questions.

And the answer to them all, the simple answer that glows like a hallelujah in the silence? Mary, serenely holding the greatest gift we’ve ever been given. Love. Pure, unconditional love.

Wishing you a season filled with miracles and love, wherever you are, whatever you believe in…

Any comments...?

Angels at my Table

by janice on December 8, 2009

When hearts listen, angels sing. ~ Anonymous

I’m very lucky that I still get to write columns for my coaching association and for The Calm Space, a lovely magazine style blog that has a drop in and enjoy some quiet ‘me time’ ambience.

I tried hard to fulfil my writing commitments this month, but wasn’t able to create the quality Christmas pieces I’d dreamed of indulging in. However, because I haven’t been particularly well or chirpy, I was allowed to contribute one of my favourite older pieces over at The Kitchen Table Space. I hope you’ll pop over and check it out. You may have read it in my archives already, but this is the first time it’s been posted properly on a blog and it’s the kind of seasonal piece I love writing.

Thank you for bearing with me. I’m hoping to pay you back in the New Year with writing that’s worthy of the time you take to read my words. I’m also planning to spend some quality time over at your blog-home catching up and commenting with a cheery disposition and a coffee in hand.

Up, Down and Grateful

by janice on November 26, 2009

The greatest gift one can give is thanksgiving. In giving gifts, we give what we can spare, but in giving thanks we give ourselves. ~ David Steindl-Rast

I wanted to do a Thanksgiving piece that would be good enough to express the depth of my gratitude for all your support and kindness over the last eight months, but I haven’t been able to. My life has been a rollercoaster ride recently, and when I started to feel buffeted and battered, like I couldn’t get off, I did what I always do; I logged off and focused on my family and on every living breathing detail of my offline life.

But I had to write today; I’ve always believed there’s a difference between being grateful and actually doing something to express that gratitude. Whether it’s thanking God, the Divine or the Universe for the gifts we’re given every day or simply taking the time to say a heartfelt Thanks! to someone, there’s power in voicing our gratitude, in giving thanks.

I was so brimming over with gratitude and relief last week that I almost posted to share it with you, but real life intervened. The day after my own cancer test came back negative, when I was giving my friend the house keys before our trip down to England to visit friends and family, he told me his wife’s cancer had returned, this time in her spine. (She went through limbo – then hell – last Christmas.) I’d packed my laptop, planning to write a seasonal piece full of gratitude and hope about how she’d inspired me last Christmas with her fortitude, resilience and passion for life, but after this news, I just shut down.

The laptop stayed locked in my suitcase, all urges to write wiped out by an overwhelming longing to love my family well and fill every moment with awareness, presence, gratitude and love.

I’ve been logged off for a long time now, but I know that if I get back into my old patterns of immersing myself daily in the sites I support, I’ll get sucked in and find myself drowning again. So I clean, I cry, I cook, I cry, I wrap myself around my husband and cuddle the kids and watch DVD’s and Everwood reruns and I shop and have coffees with friends and I try to do all the things my friend is terrified of losing and desperately fighting to keep.

Having a baby within months of my mum’s death stripped back the layers of my soul and left me vulnerable to all of humanity’s pain as well as life’s infinite pleasures. Sometimes it all gets too intense and I just have to shut down. Sometimes writing helps; sometimes it doesn’t. My best writing recreates the experiences that move me most.

I know you read lots of blogs as well as writing and living your own life to the full, so I didn’t want to use this space to constantly offload. But I owed you an explanation and really wanted to connect with you this Thanksgiving, the first one we’ve shared. I will be blogging again – I love it too much to stop – but for now I’m just relieved that part of me managed to push through and write this.

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This is the piece I wrote back in October for my coaching column last month. If you haven’t got time to read all of it, please scroll down to the last part of the epilogue.

Up, Down, Amazing and Grateful

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. ~ Wayne Dyer

My daughter’s fourteenth birthday was a day full of assumptions, both hers and mine. She didn’t know her best friends were throwing a surprise birthday party later in the week, and her sadness at not receiving presents or cards from them, on the morning of her birthday, seeped through her gratitude for everything else. I stayed quietly positive and cheerful throughout the day, assuming she would rather have the eventual surprise than the truth.

We went to the cinema in the afternoon, and as she couldn’t make up her mind which film she’d like to see, my husband bought tickets for the new Disney Pixar film, Up, which had received great reviews. One look at the poster - a house flying through the air suspended by balloons - had her assuming the film would be “babyish.”

We settled into our seats, the lights dimmed, the adverts blared across the screen in the darkness, and soon we were surrounded by the sounds and smells of popcorn, hotdogs and nachos.

I loved the first five minutes of the film. The music was poignant and moving, and through a sequence of short scenes and vignettes, we saw the quiet, quirky child grow old and grumpy as, one by one, he shelved the dreams of his youth.

Thud. My seat jarred forward as it was kicked from behind. I turned to see a boy of seven or eight sitting next to a stony-faced man, a weary washed-out looking mum and a gum-chewing sister.

I decided not to say anything. The simple act of turning around is usually enough.

The film surprised me; in turns bizarre and surreal, touching and funny, it was strangely mesmerizing. The two main characters, a lonely, overweight boy full of childhood exuberance, and an irascible, heartbroken widower, became unlikely companions on a road trip. The difference in their ages gave the film great breadth of scope and depth, while the themes of disappointment and frustration, stubbornness and letting go, redemption and hope were woven throughout with compassion and wit.

Disney films enchant me. The colours are glorious and they evoke memories of watching them with my saucer-eyed kids. A quick glance to the side showed my husband laughing with my son and my daughter giggling, devouring every detail.

Thud…thud. I fought the urge to turn round, scared that a negative reaction from the boy or his parents might embarrass my daughter and spoil her birthday film.

I took a deep breath, knowing the wriggling kicks were a distraction I had to overcome. My kids have always been very settled and courteous in cinemas, but as I’ve got older, it seems like fewer children can sit still for the length of a film without eating, wriggling or talking.

The sounds of laughter, music and talking dogs filled the warm darkness of the cinema. Glorious multicoloured balloons, bright plumage and jungle scenes filled the screen, and I tried my best to simply let go and fill my heart with compassion.

The credits rolled and we were the only two families who stayed to watch till the end.

As the lights went up, from behind me came a “Wow! That was amazing!” The mum and dad said nothing. “Dad, that was the best thing I’ve ever seen!” “Don’t be stupid,” said the dad. “It was the best film I’ve ever seen, Dad. It was amazing!”

His joy was contagious and I turned to smile at his mum, expecting to see her happy at the pleasure they’d so obviously brought him. She looked sad and distant as the man put on his coat in silence, and the older girl pulled her mobile phone from her pocket.

I left the cinema curious about who they were and what was going on in their lives. I wondered how long the boy’s delight in films would last and I was glad I hadn’t said or done anything to ruin, what for him, was the most amazing film ever.

Epilogue:

A few days later, my daughter came home to a room full of bright banners, balloons and birthday party food, all bought and prepared by her best friends. The cries of “Surprise!!” brought her hands to her face in shocked delight, then sudden awareness as she looked at me with tears and comprehension in her eyes. The long, tear-filled hug she gave me was full of gratitude and appreciation for my part in the surprise, which I’d known about for weeks. Laughing and giggling with her friends, she blew out the candles on her cake and made a wish for the second time that week; I could see that all of her sadness from the previous days had disappeared.

Surrounded by friends, good food and the determination to celebrate, it’s so much easier to feel grateful. As we all prepare for the coming season of gratitude and goodwill, blessings and bounty, I’d like to take this chance to thank you. I wish I could convey in words how much pleasure it gives me to belong to this community, to know you’ve taken the time to read my words.

I can’t offer you food, or tokens of peace and friendship, but I wanted to let you know that I’ll be thinking of you on Thanksgiving Day and giving thanks for the Internet, for the coaching we share and for the wonderful universe whose plan brought us together. I’m not American, but I shamelessly adopt rituals and celebrations from all over the world, special days that make smiles brighter and hearts warmer, days that bring people together in shared gratitude for life, love and blessings, wherever we live, whoever we are. Thank you. My life is better because of you.

Any comments...?

A Patchwork Post: Writing Tips, Christmas Tips and Susan Boyle…

by janice on November 6, 2009

M's xmas cushion

Are you working on a novel for NaNoWriMo at the moment? Having a creativity crisis? Or simply in need of a blogging boost? Are you hoping to collate your best blog posts into a published book some day? Here’s a book I’d recommend by Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void, a blogger who did just that.

I’m not going to wax lyrical; you don’t have time for that. Let me just share a few quotes from it with you and tell you that I’ve re-read the book twice. Yes, twice. It’s an incredibly easy read because each chapter is blog post length. I warn you; you’ll be twitching to jot things down in your quotebook.

If you’re looking at a blank piece of paper and nothing comes to you, then go do something else. Writer’s block is just a symptom of feeling like you have nothing to say, combined with the rather weird idea that you should feel the need to say something. ~ Hugh MacLeod

A Picasso always looks like a Picasso painted it. Hemingway always sounds like Hemingway. A Beethoven symphony always sounds like a Beethoven symphony. Part of being a master is learning how to sing in nobody else’s voice but your own. ~ Hugh MacLeod

You can’t love a crowd the same way you can love a person.

And a crowd can’t love you the way a single person can love you.

Intimacy doesn’t scale. Not really. Intimacy is a one-on-one phenomenon.

It’s not a big deal. Whether you’re writing to an audience of one, five, a thousand, ten million, there’s really only one way to truly connect. One way that actually works:

Write from the heart. ~ Hugh MacLeod.

Never compare your inside with someone else’s outside. ~ Hugh MacLeod

Hugh’s book Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity would make a great gift for any creative adults in your life.

Embrace your real life and be aware of what makes you happy…

Are you wondering what that photo of a hand-crocheted Christmas cushion has to do with inspiration, creativity or writing? Well, those of you who’ve read a lot of my pieces will know that I do my best writing when I’m away from the computer, out in the real world, in cafés or at my kitchen table. I need to live well to be able to write well; I need be aware, present and open to experience and inspiration for the jug to fill to overflowing.

Over at The Kitchen Table Space, my monthly column at The Calm Space, I’ve written a piece about one of my favourite Christmas rituals – keeping a Christmas book. It combines my triplet passions – family life, homelife coaching and writing. Truth is, I’d write about the Festive Season every day if I could. It’s the season that restores my faith, my soul and my energy more than any other time of the year.

Please drop in for a cyber coffee and a chat about Christmas; I love having friends at my kitchen table.

Take a break from writing and listen to some music that makes you cry…

As I seem to have blogging OCD and have followed a dearth of posts with one that thinks it’s a magazine – go figure - I leave you with a song I heard this morning from fellow Scot Susan Boyle. I’ve heard it before but this time it caught me unawares as I was looking out of the kitchen window; I was stunned by its beauty. These were the only words I could make out as my throat ached and my eyes welled up with unshed tears… “Wild horses..”

Any comments...?

Two Healing Books to Feed Your Soul or Give as Gifts

by janice on October 30, 2009

Caroline manrique - Nowordz photo collection book

Many of you know about the people I’m going to mention today: Caroline Manrique of The Zen in You and Whimsical Whispers, and Lance of The Jungle of Life.

It’s a joy to announce that Caroline’s first book of exquisite photography, Nowordz, was published this week. My words – and believe me, lyricism doesn’t daunt me – are inadequate to express how beautiful her photos are and how much they move me. They speak to my soul in a language that bypasses my word-shaped thoughts.

hydrangea #3

Caroline has generously shared her photos and writing with us for a long time in her blogs, and many of us have encouraged her to pursue her gifts and make a career out of her passion for photography. Here’s our chance to make this dream come true.

Full of inspiring photos and some carefully chosen, poetic words of inspiration, this unique book would make a perfect gift to heal a soul or enrich someone’s home or heart.

Please share this launch with as many folk as you can. I’ll be asking my husband to buy me a copy of Nowordz for Thanksgiving, a symbol to remind me that blogging has brought so many inspiring and talented people into my life.

Blog-4-Cause

blog4cause-231x300 Lance Ekum, of the popular inspirational blog The Jungle of Life, and Joanne Sutter, of Fitness and Spice, have compiled an e-book, Blog-4-Cause , to raise funds for the Susan G. Komen foundation; its efforts are dedicated to finding a cure for breast cancer.

Lance and Joanne received over 150 submissions from bloggers keen to contribute; I was honoured to send in one of my favourite posts, and I can personally vouch for the talents of many of the other bloggers who contributed. If you’d like to contribute, please click here to donate any amount, large or small, to obtain your copy of the book or visit the Susan G. Komen Blog-4-Cause website to learn how you can support their mission to end breast cancer. In addition, you’ll find information on how to receive the Blog-4-Cause E-book.

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Next week, I plan to showcase some books to inspire and help any of you who are participating in NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month.

Any comments...?

Does anxiety make you over-explain?

by janice on October 28, 2009

Does anxiety ever hold you back? Is your life affected by someone who’s crippled by it?

My daughter and I both suffer from anxiety and I’ve coached lots of folk whose lives are coloured by it. Many anxious people talk a lot, often too much. We try to make sure folk ‘get us’, we have an annoying need to seek approval and we often over-explain. (That’s probably why I use so many semi colons; some sentences just need that wee bit extra )

I enjoyed the following article about explaining because it really made me think. Please feel free to forward it if you like; if you do, just remember to attach Christine’s full blurb.

6 Irresistible Reasons to Stop Explaining Yourself

Rita’s parents didn’t approve of her choice to get a new kitten. Rita was expecting a long letter from them filled with judgments about her irresponsibility. As she waited for that letter, she was figuring out what she would write back.
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Sylvia, one of my Platinum-level coaching clients, just bought her dream house. She avoided telling her father about it for fear that he would judge her, call her irresponsible and proceed to describe her imminent demise. She finally did tell her father. On our call, she told me that she was waiting for his reaction gearing up to explain her choice to him.
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Now, there are some people who might read these stories and think, “Are you kiddin’ me? Who cares what anyone thinks about your houses or cats or anything??!”

If this is you, then read no further. This article is not for you.

I’m writing this for the “explainers” out there. And it doesn’t matter if you explain to parents, partners, or priests. You know who you are!

You’ve heard me talk about the benefits of going “Complaint-Free,” right? Well, today, we’re going to talk about going “Explaint-Free!”

And here are 6 irresistible reasons to do just that:

1 – Waiting Drains Your Energy.

When I’m coaching an explainer, I can see that much of her energy goes to the act of waiting.

She waits for judgment.

She waits for people to “get” her before she’ll take action.

She waits for people to approve of her choice.

She waits for criticism.

This literally drains her creative life force. Both women in the examples above were losing energy waiting for criticism.

Here’s your first big challenge: Give up the non-activity of waiting.

2 – We All Need to Learn to Trust Our Choices.

Explaining robs you of empowerment.

Our decisions teach us valuable lessons about intuition and instinct. RARELY do our clear decisions come from our mental activity. Gut instinct is clearer than our critical minds.

When we explain ourselves, however, we move away from the place of deep trust in our intuition and into the realm of mental activity – where the choice didn’t come from in the first place! We’ve suddenly stopped honoring and trusting ourselves and started creating a pattern of mental activity as we question our choices.

3 – Explaining Blocks Creativity.

Creativity means you’re the Creator of your life. You’re a Creator. Not a Reactor. When you explain yourself, you become a “Reactor.” You can’t live in both realms at once. They contradict each other. Living in a state of reaction causes you to cut off the flow of creativity.

4 – Disapproval is a Great Opportunity.

Huh?

Yes, I’m serious about this!

Becoming an adult in the deepest sense is about learning to take responsibility for your actions and choices. Sometimes that means other people won’t like these actions and choices. And what a great opportunity people provide when they do that!

I once heard a relationship coach say that love can sometimes mean letting your partner be disappointed in your choices. Think about that. Can you stand in your body and love someone enough to allow them not be happy with a choice you’re making?

5 – Explainers Endorse Irresponsibility.

People who take personal responsibility for their lives do not blame others (or themselves) for their unhappiness, for their life situations, or for their financial state, etc. Instead, they recognize that they created it, and they can un-create or re-create anything. It’s an empowering place to live.

Many people do not live in this level of personal responsibility. They are too busy blaming other people, taking other people’s inventory, and looking outside themselves for their happiness. Teacher and author Byron Katie calls this minding other people’s business instead of your own.

Your choice to explain yourself teaches other people that it’s okay not to take responsibility, and that it’s okay to mind your business instead of their own. Your explaints actually perpetuate the pattern of irresponsibility!

6 – Explainers Play Small. It’s Time to Play Big.

Explainers are waiting for permission, or approval, or for people to “get” their choices. So much unhappiness and depression comes from a lifetime of waiting for these meaningless things. It’s the ultimate meaning of Playing Small.

Playing Big means being clear, and making decisions from your soul. And your soul doesn’t feel the need to explain anything!

Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

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What did you think of Christine’s take on explaining? Do you suffer from anxiety? If so, how does it show up? Do you find yourself explaining too much? If you experiment with explaining less, I’d be interested to hear how you get on. I tried paying attention to how often I do it in an average day and it was scary!