Janice Hunter's Sharing the Journey — soul food and support for coaches, writers and homemakers

A Patchwork Post: Writing Tips, Christmas Tips and Susan Boyle…

by janice on November 6, 2009

M's xmas cushion

Are you working on a novel for NaNoWriMo at the moment? Having a creativity crisis? Or simply in need of a blogging boost? Are you hoping to collate your best blog posts into a published book some day? Here’s a book I’d recommend by Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void, a blogger who did just that.

I’m not going to wax lyrical; you don’t have time for that. Let me just share a few quotes from it with you and tell you that I’ve re-read the book twice. Yes, twice. It’s an incredibly easy read because each chapter is blog post length. I warn you; you’ll be twitching to jot things down in your quotebook.

If you’re looking at a blank piece of paper and nothing comes to you, then go do something else. Writer’s block is just a symptom of feeling like you have nothing to say, combined with the rather weird idea that you should feel the need to say something. ~ Hugh MacLeod

A Picasso always looks like a Picasso painted it. Hemingway always sounds like Hemingway. A Beethoven symphony always sounds like a Beethoven symphony. Part of being a master is learning how to sing in nobody else’s voice but your own. ~ Hugh MacLeod

You can’t love a crowd the same way you can love a person.

And a crowd can’t love you the way a single person can love you.

Intimacy doesn’t scale. Not really. Intimacy is a one-on-one phenomenon.

It’s not a big deal. Whether you’re writing to an audience of one, five, a thousand, ten million, there’s really only one way to truly connect. One way that actually works:

Write from the heart. ~ Hugh MacLeod.

Never compare your inside with someone else’s outside. ~ Hugh MacLeod

Hugh’s book Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity would make a great gift for any creative adults in your life.

Embrace your real life and be aware of what makes you happy…

Are you wondering what that photo of a hand-crocheted Christmas cushion has to do with inspiration, creativity or writing? Well, those of you who’ve read a lot of my pieces will know that I do my best writing when I’m away from the computer, out in the real world, in cafés or at my kitchen table. I need to live well to be able to write well; I need be aware, present and open to experience and inspiration for the jug to fill to overflowing.

Over at The Kitchen Table Space, my monthly column at The Calm Space, I’ve written a piece about one of my favourite Christmas rituals – keeping a Christmas book. It combines my triplet passions – family life, homelife coaching and writing. Truth is, I’d write about the Festive Season every day if I could. It’s the season that restores my faith, my soul and my energy more than any other time of the year.

Please drop in for a cyber coffee and a chat about Christmas; I love having friends at my kitchen table.

Take a break from writing and listen to some music that makes you cry…

As I seem to have blogging OCD and have followed a dearth of posts with one that thinks it’s a magazine – go figure - I leave you with a song I heard this morning from fellow Scot Susan Boyle. I’ve heard it before but this time it caught me unawares as I was looking out of the kitchen window; I was stunned by its beauty. These were the only words I could make out as my throat ached and my eyes welled up with unshed tears… “Wild horses..”

Any comments...?

Two Healing Books to Feed Your Soul or Give as Gifts

by janice on October 30, 2009

Caroline manrique - Nowordz photo collection book

Many of you know about the people I’m going to mention today: Caroline Manrique of The Zen in You and Whimsical Whispers, and Lance of The Jungle of Life.

It’s a joy to announce that Caroline’s first book of exquisite photography, Nowordz, was published this week. My words – and believe me, lyricism doesn’t daunt me – are inadequate to express how beautiful her photos are and how much they move me. They speak to my soul in a language that bypasses my word-shaped thoughts.

hydrangea #3

Caroline has generously shared her photos and writing with us for a long time in her blogs, and many of us have encouraged her to pursue her gifts and make a career out of her passion for photography. Here’s our chance to make this dream come true.

Full of inspiring photos and some carefully chosen, poetic words of inspiration, this unique book would make a perfect gift to heal a soul or enrich someone’s home or heart.

Please share this launch with as many folk as you can. I’ll be asking my husband to buy me a copy of Nowordz for Thanksgiving, a symbol to remind me that blogging has brought so many inspiring and talented people into my life.

Blog-4-Cause

blog4cause-231x300 Lance Ekum, of the popular inspirational blog The Jungle of Life, and Joanne Sutter, of Fitness and Spice, have compiled an e-book, Blog-4-Cause , to raise funds for the Susan G. Komen foundation; its efforts are dedicated to finding a cure for breast cancer.

Lance and Joanne received over 150 submissions from bloggers keen to contribute; I was honoured to send in one of my favourite posts, and I can personally vouch for the talents of many of the other bloggers who contributed. If you’d like to contribute, please click here to donate any amount, large or small, to obtain your copy of the book or visit the Susan G. Komen Blog-4-Cause website to learn how you can support their mission to end breast cancer. In addition, you’ll find information on how to receive the Blog-4-Cause E-book.

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Next week, I plan to showcase some books to inspire and help any of you who are participating in NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month.

Any comments...?

Does anxiety make you over-explain?

by janice on October 28, 2009

Does anxiety ever hold you back? Is your life affected by someone who’s crippled by it?

My daughter and I both suffer from anxiety and I’ve coached lots of folk whose lives are coloured by it. Many anxious people talk a lot, often too much. We try to make sure folk ‘get us’, we have an annoying need to seek approval and we often over-explain. (That’s probably why I use so many semi colons; some sentences just need that wee bit extra )

I enjoyed the following article about explaining because it really made me think. Please feel free to forward it if you like; if you do, just remember to attach Christine’s full blurb.

6 Irresistible Reasons to Stop Explaining Yourself

Rita’s parents didn’t approve of her choice to get a new kitten. Rita was expecting a long letter from them filled with judgments about her irresponsibility. As she waited for that letter, she was figuring out what she would write back.
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Sylvia, one of my Platinum-level coaching clients, just bought her dream house. She avoided telling her father about it for fear that he would judge her, call her irresponsible and proceed to describe her imminent demise. She finally did tell her father. On our call, she told me that she was waiting for his reaction gearing up to explain her choice to him.
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Now, there are some people who might read these stories and think, “Are you kiddin’ me? Who cares what anyone thinks about your houses or cats or anything??!”

If this is you, then read no further. This article is not for you.

I’m writing this for the “explainers” out there. And it doesn’t matter if you explain to parents, partners, or priests. You know who you are!

You’ve heard me talk about the benefits of going “Complaint-Free,” right? Well, today, we’re going to talk about going “Explaint-Free!”

And here are 6 irresistible reasons to do just that:

1 – Waiting Drains Your Energy.

When I’m coaching an explainer, I can see that much of her energy goes to the act of waiting.

She waits for judgment.

She waits for people to “get” her before she’ll take action.

She waits for people to approve of her choice.

She waits for criticism.

This literally drains her creative life force. Both women in the examples above were losing energy waiting for criticism.

Here’s your first big challenge: Give up the non-activity of waiting.

2 – We All Need to Learn to Trust Our Choices.

Explaining robs you of empowerment.

Our decisions teach us valuable lessons about intuition and instinct. RARELY do our clear decisions come from our mental activity. Gut instinct is clearer than our critical minds.

When we explain ourselves, however, we move away from the place of deep trust in our intuition and into the realm of mental activity – where the choice didn’t come from in the first place! We’ve suddenly stopped honoring and trusting ourselves and started creating a pattern of mental activity as we question our choices.

3 – Explaining Blocks Creativity.

Creativity means you’re the Creator of your life. You’re a Creator. Not a Reactor. When you explain yourself, you become a “Reactor.” You can’t live in both realms at once. They contradict each other. Living in a state of reaction causes you to cut off the flow of creativity.

4 – Disapproval is a Great Opportunity.

Huh?

Yes, I’m serious about this!

Becoming an adult in the deepest sense is about learning to take responsibility for your actions and choices. Sometimes that means other people won’t like these actions and choices. And what a great opportunity people provide when they do that!

I once heard a relationship coach say that love can sometimes mean letting your partner be disappointed in your choices. Think about that. Can you stand in your body and love someone enough to allow them not be happy with a choice you’re making?

5 – Explainers Endorse Irresponsibility.

People who take personal responsibility for their lives do not blame others (or themselves) for their unhappiness, for their life situations, or for their financial state, etc. Instead, they recognize that they created it, and they can un-create or re-create anything. It’s an empowering place to live.

Many people do not live in this level of personal responsibility. They are too busy blaming other people, taking other people’s inventory, and looking outside themselves for their happiness. Teacher and author Byron Katie calls this minding other people’s business instead of your own.

Your choice to explain yourself teaches other people that it’s okay not to take responsibility, and that it’s okay to mind your business instead of their own. Your explaints actually perpetuate the pattern of irresponsibility!

6 – Explainers Play Small. It’s Time to Play Big.

Explainers are waiting for permission, or approval, or for people to “get” their choices. So much unhappiness and depression comes from a lifetime of waiting for these meaningless things. It’s the ultimate meaning of Playing Small.

Playing Big means being clear, and making decisions from your soul. And your soul doesn’t feel the need to explain anything!

Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

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What did you think of Christine’s take on explaining? Do you suffer from anxiety? If so, how does it show up? Do you find yourself explaining too much? If you experiment with explaining less, I’d be interested to hear how you get on. I tried paying attention to how often I do it in an average day and it was scary!

Any comments...?

Clutter: What are You Really Holding Onto…and Why?

by janice on October 19, 2009

I did this quick watercolour sketch of swans in my notebook thirty years ago – hence the wrinkles – while I was supposed to be writing a Yeats essay. I came across it during my recent clear out.

I used to spend weekends walking on the beach near my boyfriend’s home, and occasionally I’d take my camera. As an English Studies student, I spent most of my time reading and writing, so it was relaxing for me to capture moments then paint them later.

It’s the same process I use now, living the moments then recapturing them in my writing. But seeing the serenity I enjoyed back then and remembering the dreams I had of a writer’s life by the sea , I’m inspired to start painting again. Sometimes dreams don’t work out, but those captured moments make a life.

How do you capture the patchwork moments of your life?

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The following is an extract from my guest post at Silver and Grace today.

What are you really holding onto… and why?

Your conscious mind has learned to ignore untidy shelves or rooms filled with old things. But your unconscious mind is overworked and weighed down by these things. It becomes free only when you get the stuff out of your house. ~ Tiki Kustenmacher

I turned fifty recently, and my birthday brought with it a visceral longing, a craving to get clean and clear, to pare my house down to the basics so I could crawl out from under the weight of ill health, exhaustion and overwhelm, to build a bridge between a past that was anchoring me and a future beckoning me like the promise of a sea breeze.

We’ve all had that feeling at some time, that driving urge to declutter, but why does the clutter mount up in the first place? And I’m not just talking about clutter; I mean anything that clogs our spirit and bogs down our days: unfinished jobs, unwritten letters, stains and broken appliances are all tolerations dragging us down. Lots of posts give tips for getting rid of clutter, but maybe if we look at why we hold on to stuff, it’ll help us get rid of it permanently. [To read the rest of the post and investigate some of the why's, please click here. ]

Any comments...?

Sea Breezes, Books and Minerals

by janice on October 9, 2009

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

How often do you coach someone who’s come to you overwhelmed, stuck or overweight? Someone who’s spiritually sluggish, washed out and weary?

Chances are, you’ll have worked on what’s anchoring them in their past and what’s blocking their energy, the flow of prosperity and creativity in their lives. You’ll have investigated what they’re clinging to, afraid of letting go.

For me, it’s been books. Currently, as we prepare to lay a new wooden floor, all of my books are packed in see-through plastic storage crates, dozens of them, some in the attic, and six or seven clogging the dining room. But do you know something? After years of squeezing between sofas and bookcases – I have no home office or study - I feel as happy as a kid with new wax crayons. I have that lightness of spirit I feel on holiday, in rooms with lace curtains billowing in a sea breeze, revealing tantalising glimpses of a beach full of promise.

When the new wooden floor is laid, and the last skirting board nailed in place, not one single book will reappear on a shelf unless it is insanely useful, destined to be re-read or so precious it gives me an energy surge just thinking about it. I don’t need books to remind me – or show others – who I was, who I am, what I know or what I enjoy.

I turned fifty last month. For forty-five years, I’ve been devouring reading material; novels, text books, course books, magazines and more recently, online text. I have clusters of books from every phase and every career: dictionaries and text books in nine languages; tomes on astrology, feng shui, art and garden design; books on translation, linguistics and creative writing; files of coach training printouts and dozens of homelife coaching and personal development books.

I adore reading. I adore books. So why am I on the verge of a cull? I need my energy more. Most of my books are no longer inspiring me; they’re depleting me and anchoring me in the past.

I no longer cast astrological charts or speak Greek every day. I passed my coach certification and no longer mentor, or critique exam tapes. If I haven’t absorbed the basics by now, I’d rather revise them in some fresh new format.

I’m tired of dusting books I don’t read, and as my collection grows, it strikes me as bizarre to contemplate extending my home to house books.

Until recently, the thought of parting with them was unbearable. So what happened?

The menopause, my dad’s heart attack, my kids’ puberty and my own illness happened.

My life, for six months, has felt clogged and bogged down with tolerations. Even as I tackled them, kaizen style, one at a time, I accrued more than I dealt with. Sick of missed deadlines, sleepless nights, hair loss, infections and depression, I summoned the strength to arrange appointments with a consultant and my local doctor. Determined not to have my concerns dismissed, swept under the rug of age, parenthood and caring for an elderly relative, I asked for blood tests.

My inner child, my coaching voice, my intuition and every member of my spiritual team, desperate to crawl out from under the weight of overwhelm, were all screaming:

What do I need?
What’s stopping me getting it?
What am I getting too much of?
What am I not getting enough of?
What will I gain when I get the balance and flow back?

When I visited the consultant, I simply asked him to help me find out what I was deficient in. Such a small question, but my silent sigh convinced me it was the right step, the right question, like a perfect pebble dropped in a deep pool.

While I was waiting for the results, I had my seasonal September craving to get clean and clear. I rode it like a cresting wave, surfing my way through packing, recycling and binning my possessions, blessing and letting go of anything that no longer energised me. I knew I’d reach the shore battered and sea-tossed, but it was worth it.

Out went patterned, grubby rugs, shabby faded curtains and sagging fake wood bookcases.

In came a shaggy wool rug, freshly painted cream walls, soft cotton slip covers and snuggly throws and cushions, all in natural textures and the colours of serenity and sea shores: sun baked terracotta, warm sand and sea-tossed pebbles, driftwood and shells.

My books, photo frames and ornaments are still safely stored until I decide their fate.

Right now, I need spiritual space more than belongings, fresh air and clear surfaces more than books and objects. I need time with my loved ones more than the memories that keep me anchored to lost loves and the empty shells of lives no longer lived.

My blood test results came back and I smiled. Due to malabsorption, I’m severely deficient in major minerals, including zinc. Zinc deficiency can cause sleeplessness, depression, skin problems, hair loss, infections and a lack of appetite – for food, love and life itself. I was right to have insisted on tests.

Now that I know, I can work on my zinc. It’s easier to ask myself “How can I get and absorb more zinc?” than “How can I fix my entire life?”

One banana, one handful of seeds, one step at a time works for me, as long as it’s a step that takes me in the right direction.

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Are you depleted at the moment? What do you need to get – and absorb – more of? What small step could you take today that will get you closer to where you want to be?

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(*This was adapted from my latest Coaching Moments piece in VOICE, the official newsletter of the International Association of Coaching, where it was edited by Linda Dessau. The illustration is a painting called Long Golden day by Alice Dalton Brown.)

Any comments...?

Berries and Birds

by janice on October 1, 2009

berries and birdhouse Do you go searching for beauty, inspiration and wisdom, or does it sneak up on you silently and whisper?

As you know, I was AWOL from blogging last month, taking some time out to rest, refresh my spirit and restore my health. Writing this month’s Kitchen Table Space article for the online magazine, The Calm Space helped me get some perspective back. (So did a trip to a consultant endocrinologist, but that’ll keep for a later post !)

This issue celebrates the magazine’s second birthday with the theme of ‘Beauty’. It’s a treasure trove of a site, and I hope you’ll pop over and explore, maybe share some of your own wisdom.

101 Slightly Unpredictable Tips for Novelists and Screenwriters

by janice on September 23, 2009

Writing is writing, and the means by which it finds wings is still the product of, for better or worse, a process. This book is all about empowering that process. ~ Larry Brooks

Every so often I discover and resonate with a new blogger. It’s not just because of the concepts they convey in their content or comments; sometimes we share a common life view or I find their personality engaging and I start to care. Most of this happens through the medium of writing, with the odd photo or podcast thrown in.

Does your writing engage folk like that?

Can you lead readers into your life, make them hungry for the skills you share, inspire loyalty and cause them to care if you reach a crisis point in your blogging or your life?

Larry Brooks of Storyfix.com, a guest writer at Write to Done and Copyblogger, can help you do that with your writing and your blog. Better still, if you want to make your living as a writer, he can help you boost your creativity and sell what you write. The first draft of Larry’s debut novel was bought and published - with only slight revisions – and went on to become a minor best seller. His screenplays have been optioned.

storyfixebooksmall He’s recently published an ebook called 101 Slightly Unpredictable Tips for Novelists and Screenwriters: Innovative Ways to Jack your Creativity and Sell What you Write. I’d recommend you buy it, print it off, study all 141 pages and scribble notes all over it. Unless, of course you have a shelf full of published novels, a portfolio of produced screenplays, an enviable life style paid for by your writing and an agent who adores you because you make their life easy.

Larry’s writing voice is strong - often humorous – and the ideas are clear, fresh and easily applied. His ebook and blog posts have inspired my teenage daughter to write better stories for school by giving her structural templates she can explore and experiment with; they’ve enabled her to tap into her love of film and TV drama in order to analyse what makes a compelling story.

Many tips struck me as innovative, some are classics worth rediscovering and there are a few I disagree with. Most of the ideas, though, resonated with me, made a lot of sense or inspired me to action. Here’s a random sample of the kind of chapters the book covers; most of the topics provide rich material for bloggers as well as help for budding novelists.

Less really is more.
Pay attention to song lyrics.
Watch Dr.Phil.
At any point in the story you need to be able to answer this question: what is the reader rooting for and caring about?
Forget most of what your high school creative writing teacher taught you.
Imagine your novel as a movie. Or imagine your screenplay as a novel.
Nothing you write is ever wasted. Ever.
Don’t sweat your prose. Do sweat your story.

You’ll find an even more detailed list here:

This isn’t a how to of grammar, punctuation and slick prose. You’ll still have to work hard on your own style and hone your skills – but you do that already, right? It will encourage you to discover what makes you special as a writer and show you how to learn from writers who have that special X-factor. It will help you structure your writing in such a way that you can’t fail to improve everything you write, from a paragraph to a screenplay.

At its heart is Larry’s belief in structure – the architecture of good writing – and the importance of constructing a story with pivotal points, drama, conflict, tension and emotional resonance.

The term “story architecture” refers to the sequence of an unfolding story according to an accepted – and expected – sequence, complete with certain milestones, timing and criteria. In effect, a blueprint.

Mess with it and your story will suffer. As will your readers.

Music has architecture. Sculpting and painting have architecture, even the most obscure pieces. All art is based on some form of structure, even if the lack of structure is what defines the art.” ~Larry Brooks

I’m a fairly organic writer, but I know the value of structure. I’m not a novelist or screenwriter – my background is language study, translation and song writing – but an awareness of essence, empathy and emotional resonance has been vital in everything I do.

For a story to work, it must have stakes. You can have character and plot without stakes – stakes are what makes the reader care – but if you do, what you won’t have is a book contract or a movie deal.” ~ Larry Brooks

Larry’s belief in the importance of knowing what’s at stake in any piece of writing drew me to his work. That, and his passion for incorporating music into the writing process.

Great writing has rhythm to it. A lyrical sensibility. And nothing says rhythm and lyrical sensibility more than music…

…And in case you think I’m speaking only to screenwriters here, you’re wrong. Novelists need visualization and emotional resonance every bit as much. In fact, because novelists have to paint the sky with words instead of stage direction, music can be an even more powerful tool for getting there.” ~Larry Brooks

I’ve watched movies and good TV series all my life and I’m a consumer of the kind of novels that sell millions of copies. I can tell in five minutes if a film will bomb. Most of us have an innate understanding of the structures that sell; we all know the kind of heroes who engage our empathy and create our concern. Larry’s blog, ebook and tips show us how to craft that unconscious competence into something we can leverage in our own work. Even if we baulk at the idea of formulae and structure, he articulates how we can blend the organic and the structural to marry art and craft.

I could say more about what’s in the ebook, but I don’t want to spoil your pleasure. It is, after all called 101 Slightly Unpredictable Tips. I wish this book - and Storyfix.com - had been around when I taught creative writing classes. If I could have written an ebook as succinct and practical as this, trust me – I would have. Larry’s work has got me reaching for my old screenplays and manuscripts, thinking “I wonder…”

This ebook could be exactly what you need to make some of your writing dreams come true. It may take less than you think.

May you find at least one idea that helps you move forward toward the birthing of the best story you can write. If I can deliver that, then you won’t be asking for your money back and we’ll both be delighted with the outcome.

That’s any writer’s dream. If you can touch one heart outside of your own, you have succeeded. ~Larry Brooks

Any comments...?

Life Laundry…revisited

by janice on September 17, 2009

(This is a Coaching Moments post from a few autumns ago. It’s still very timely; my son started high school a few weeks ago and my dad celebrates his 85th birthday this month. He had a heart attack a year after I wrote the post, and we’re both still doing the ‘life laundry’ every autumn.)

Life Laundry

Pegging out laundry
Damp and fragrant in the sun
She lifts up her face
Listens to the sheets flapping
In the breeze, surrendering
Ready to set sail ~ Janice Hunter

What’s September like where you are? Is it spring? Or has the frazzling heat of August started to fade, leaving you fresher and less floppy? Do you take on new clients, begin new ventures?

September feels like the start of a new year for me, with its promise of exciting new beginnings, classes and semesters. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent most of my life as a student or a teacher or because my birthday falls at the end of August and both my children were born in the autumn. Whatever the reason, this is a time for freshly sharpened pencils, for blank pages and tempting piles of books, something to look forward to on darkening days as the nip of autumn turns into the unexpected bite of winter.

I have a cupboard in the dining room where I store all the Christmas candles, scented oils and festive season bargains bought in the January sales. Wedged at the back are some wooden Shaker hearts, hand-painted a warm, folk art red. They were a free gift with a magazine and I always planned to do something creative with them. Waiting in there, patiently for years, they’ve soaked up the fragrance of cinnamon, apple and spice. If I’m ever saddened by the fading brightness of autumn, or tempted to see it as a season of loss rather than a time of fruitful abundance, I furtively open those doors and inhale the excitement of another season nestled within, like Russian dolls.

As evolving souls in human bodies, we’re meant to grow, to feel the seasons, to surrender to the beauty of each one – but like many people, I’m not very good at letting go. My daughter started high school a few weeks ago and I spent an anxious, distressed day pacing like a caged animal, unable to relax until she burst through the door beaming. My dad is eighty three this month and has started to prepare for a different kind of letting go, sorting through his treasures, putting his life and house in order.

One thing that calms me when the months and years seem to be spinning out of control is to anchor myself in the everyday details of creating a life I love. I try to cultivate gratitude and focus on the people I love, on the things that inspire me and on the thoughts, emotions and details that are within my power to change; then I just do my best to trust the rest to the universe.

Every autumn, I get a craving, an almost visceral nesting instinct to clear out all the debris of an old year. Out go old passions and paradigms, making room for abundance, new experiences, new people and new lessons to flow into my life. Clutter clearing – my own and other people’s – brings me so much pleasure, it should be X-rated. Deciding what to do with every sheet of paper, every object, every garment or piece of fabric is a living, breathing meditation, a tangible way to strengthen my choice muscles and ask some important questions:

If I had ten minutes to rescue my belongings, would I take this?
Do I really, really love and need this or am I keeping it ‘just in case it comes in useful’?
Could someone else get more benefit from this or love it more?
Am I keeping this just to please someone else? Or because it came from someone I care about ?
Is this anchoring me in the past when I need to be moving on?
Is this heartstoppingly beautiful?
Will the kids be glad I saved this in the attic for them or roll their eyes in years to come and wonder what on earth I was thinking about?
Does this object exude positive, empowering energy?
What does it say about me? And do I like what it says about me?
Does it symbolise a value, something good, something precious?
Do I spend more time dusting souvenirs than I do making memories?

Every time I shred paper and clear out my clutter, my coaching and poetry get better, the house becomes more spacious and easier to clean, we all have more energy… and I lose weight! As well as space and energy, a cathartic clean-out also frees up time and money. A few weeks ago, we had a family holiday in a small, white cottage by a sea loch; it was funded entirely by what we’d earned from family car-boot sales and by what we’d saved by recycling and re-organising.

What could you let go of this autumn to prepare the ground for the seeds of a new season?

Any comments...?

The House of the Thousand Horrormoans

by janice on September 8, 2009

Clearly there is some tenacity, some deeper longing to keep keeping on, that lies at the heart of the human experience. I don’t think we cleave to life for no other reason than that we’re afraid of death. I think we cleave to life out of a deeper knowing that there is something about it that has not happened yet. Like salmon rushing upstream, we instinctively know that we are here to continue the process of life. That we are the process of life. And as such, we’re here to contribute to a larger drama than our individual selves could ever fathom, much less describe. ~ Marianne Williamson, from The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife

I logged on yesterday to see if I had any comments on my Kitchen Table post or any personal emails. It was an eye-opener; I’ve had very few personal emails this last few weeks, but those I got were heartwarming. The rest of what I consider to be ‘emails’ were actually email alerts telling me that my favourite bloggers had posted. I pressed DELETE, thinking “Archives…that’s what they’re for…”

I logged on last week to post a wee note explaining my absence and was horrified to discover the server had taken my blog down. I still have no idea why they did; apparently it happens to a lot of folk. The lesson there? BACK UP EVERYTHING, then let go and don’t catastrophise!!!!!

There are many reasons for my silence, but it’s mainly because I haven’t been feeling very well. In between bouts of feeling washed out and weary, I’ve given in to the temptation of overdoing things when I’m feeling less buffeted. I suffer from periodic phases of ferritin depletion, caused by mineral malabsorption and a clash between my daily thyroid meds and my iron absorption. (I had a tumour removed after Chernobyl.) I’m on antibiotics and extra iron now and feeling much brighter.

Turns out, I’ve also had an infection on top of the menopausal nasties and exhaustion. (Tiredness goes with the territory when you have teenagers and an eighty-four year old lone parent.) Some days I feel like I’m in the middle of a Jet Li film called ‘The House of the Thousand Horrormoans’. (That’s what my son called hormones when we first explained puberty and the wonders of womanhood to him!)

For many women, our deepest craving is for a place to relax. ~ Marianne Williamson

Despite the dips, I’m still feeling very serene at my core and am focused on slowly but surely getting rid of 80% of the contents of my home. I’ve also been out and about when I feel the urge, remembering life before laptops. We bought new curtains (ehm, we had to…my husband came home one day and found the old ones binned and nothing left at the windows except our wooden venetian blinds.) Illness&exhaustion&no-blogging has given me back my clarity, integrity and serenity as well as a surge of boldness. I’ve disliked the curtains for ten years, but kept them because they were custom-made in colours that matched the rust and green sofas and rugs. After they went, the 15 year old permanently grubby rug went too….then the battered back-breaking green sofa….) Currently, we are down to two small sofas and are rugless, but happy. It’s inspired us to paint the living room next month and finally lay the new wooden floor that’s been in packs in the attic for three years!

I don’t recommend getting overwhelmed, ill and exhausted as the wake-up call that demands an integrity investigation, but it feels like I’ve cleared the way for all sorts of happiness and prosperity and a new phase of life. Maybe my birthday fest last month had a deeper knock-on effect than I thought!

It might take ten years to discover how to build a business and then another ten to learn how to be the most compassionate human being — add ten more to find out how to be the best mate or parent, and somewhere around our 50’s or 60’s we’re ready to live our most shining lives. ~ Marianne Williamson

Giving myself permission to celebrate for five days, one for each decade, gave me a real boost of integrity. I’m the only bridge between my past life and the life to come. I need to stay serene and healthy, focused and present in order to enjoy my NOW, but I don’t need to keep hundreds of letters, ornaments, and books in order to remember who I am, to know who I am, define who I am or show who I am. I promised a few of you I’d post a photo soon, well here I am; this is from a family photo from the summer before last.

I started blogging to share my life journey with others and to give others a place to share theirs. To do that, I need, quite simply, to have a life in the first place, to live as fully as I can, with presence and awe so that I can capture and filter the essence of the moments I long to share. My life revolves around my family, my home and my creativity, but I also need to read, to connect and to soak up as much nature as I can. If I want to make the best possible use of my life and energy, I can no longer spend large chunks of my day on blogging-related activities.

I’ll still be blogging, still be supporting and enjoying fellow bloggers, but in order not to burn out and crash again, I need to accept that I have blogging OCD and work around that awareness.

I’m really sorry I didn’t put up a post to explain my absence, but I feel as if my spirit told me to go blogging cold turkey last month to get some real clarity around why I blog and what I’d miss if I stopped. I seem to write as many posts about my blogging breaks as I do about parenting, writing or homelife coaching. That has to stop or I’ll bore both of us.

I’m glad you’re still here, and if I go AWOL again, I hope you’ll understand and bear with me. I missed connecting with you. That’s why I logged back on.

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What keeps you blogging?