I’m just popping in to say “Happy New Year”. I pray all is well in your life and hope to see you around blogosphere when you’re feeling up to it.

You are missed.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Inquiring Minds Want To Know

You’ve probably guessed by now that I haven’t been well – physically, creatively, spiritually or mentally – and have spent the last month feeling unable to log on. (My inbox, full of hundreds of unread emails, must have started sending ‘Inbox full’ messages.)

I’ve never experienced nervous exhaustion before, but I suspect I was on the verge if not there already. Feeling like I was teetering on the edge of a precipice, all of my instincts screamed “Withdraw, focus on family, details and real life. Get centred. Recuperate. Recharge.” I felt like I’d given away so much of myself over the last year and a half that even my automatic pilot was on automatic pilot.

As something close to indifference started to descend and wrap itself around me like a shroud of grey snow, I simply shut down, curled up and let go, unable to face much else.

On top of feeling unwell, we had a series of events leading up to Christmas that would have been farsical if they hadn’t compounded what I was going through. They included a leak in the attic, a heating breakdown, emergency dentistry on Christmas Eve, no floor or furniture in the living room until a week before Christmas – due to a plumber letting us down – and weeks of being snowbound with sporadic Broadband.

Not that I cared much about Internet access; I couldn’t face logging on and have let everyone down, not just subscribers, fellow bloggers and friends, but colleagues and friends I write columns for. I managed to post my Christmas piece when my nephew arrived and asked to see my site. When realised I had Internet access, I took a deep breath, took things one wee step at a time and posted as quickly as I could.

I adore Christmas, and had been dreaming of using my blog to write Christmas pieces, share Christmas music, gift ideas and photos of what our home (normally) looks like over the festive season, but I decided that an old favourite piece was better than nothing.

Because of the snow, my friend has struggled to get into hospital for her chemotherapy. That’s helped me gradually regain my sense of perspective. One day, as a few of us were digging the snow from her drive, I felt that if I could just keep digging and clearing until there was a way out, somehow, it would all be OK.

I can’t promise that I’ll be able to post anything new for a while, but I just wanted to write this to let you know I haven’t forgotten any of you, taken you for granted or stopped looking forward to the time I can return to blogging and blog-reading & commenting with more balance and equilibrium. I hope you’ll bear with me.

I know full well what I ought to be doing to take good care of myself, but engaged parenting, creative homemaking, caring for an elderly relative and always writing from the heart have temporarily distanced the theory from the practice.

Bumps in the road are there to slow us down, but this recent one’s forced me into a ditch where I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on what I have to do to get back on track.

I wish you a wonderful New Year, full of love, good health, prosperity, inspiration, creativity and everything you dream of. May the universe send you the signs and synchronicity you need to guide you. I hope to be with you again soon.